Poems XIX

Did you know I'm dating my future wife? Cuz that's cool.

My Ocean

If I were the ocean and you were a boat,
It wouldn't matter if you went when I stayed put.

The ocean envelops the land, like ceaseless kisses the waves smack,
And my love encircles all of you and I'll never want it back.
It would be dishonest for me to say that I knew that this would happen,
That somewhere deep within my heart there'd be a bubbling to rival the Kraken.

I sound the trumpets every day as I await your return
My passion aches, I languish, curse, and still it only burns
Brighter, darker in its hues, I wish to torch the hurdles
No circumstantial Scyllan fates could ever claim to be hurtful
For I am stronger, safe in you, secure and wrathful, righteous,
I win the day, I seize the prize, I have what I need- us.

Call me El Niño, my temperatures rise when I see you,
But I'm no boy, in you a man, with loving eyes of blue,
You can sail the years away, at home's the ocean true.

Poems XVII

Arctic Sun:

You put yourself low in the sky, and yet You
Warm all the small things, and warm me too.

You have no need to scatter shadows
Or make the snowdrifts melt,
Your beauty brings out their latent hues,
In brightened souls Your work is felt.

Without the Sun there is no lichen,
No lichen, no caribou,
The wolf needs meat and I need meat,
the cycle worships You.

The darkest days, when You're not here,
Feel as if they last all year,
But long winters lead to longest summers,
Bathed in light when you are near.

Poems XV: Sonnets

WORD SONNET

Paradise

is

sitting

abeyant

in

a

new

friend’s

tent-

the

slapping

rain

plunging

down.

ITALIAN SONNET

I approach, rudderless, the darkened moor,

Where the crooked lighthouse normally sits,

Be there it may, but completely- unlit!

Yet I must set my course on her shore.

The coward caretaker trembled at the door,

The storm hammered in hellish, ghastly fits.

The mad tempest ran away with his wits,

His initiative drowned at the floor.

But hot winds have pushed the thunders away,

Brought new clouds that surrender to the moon,

Beautiful mistress! She dapples the bay-

Renders my damp night a glorious day-

Some cloud puffs are friends, some winds are a boon,

And fools full of fear should never hold sway.

SHAKESPEAREAN SONNET

I scoffed as I heard of love at first sight

Thinking it’d never happen to me-

I tried to reason with all of my might

Love with calculation, not fallacy.

But logic be damned, it’s every time,

Exponentially harder and faster.

It is reason I shun instead of rhyme,

My pupils dilated in disaster.

That’s what my brain claims, but maybe he’s wrong,

For although eyes see superficially,

The nose sniffs out hormones subtly strong,

Chemical love coming naturally.

I’ll let this infatuate garden grow!

Plant yellow Dutch tulips as Cyrano!

COURTLY LOVE

I.

I have a Platonic love, of a different sort-

My Pallas Aphrodite, Goddess full of wisdom and beauty both,

She is the ideal

The rest of us poor reflections

The only Form to Grace our Earth with unveiled presence

A shapeliness no circle can equal

Perilous to my sanity to behold the face of my abstract Everything

To marvel, quake in awe,

Wail and quiver at not having

Plato’s Athenian,

Come to us mortals in Troth.

No man can harness the sun or even stare too long ‘fore going blind

Blind as love

Part of perfection sits in me and raises me up,

Eudaemonic,

For even daring to dream of loving Forms of You.

II.

He who is not jealous can not love.

I am not jealous.

I am envious.

For I do not have.

I covet but do not covet love, which I hold in brightened, dark secret.

My passions invisible and obvious,

My Guinevere!

I am tired, tired of being ashamed,

For who I am is a lover.

A deep devoted fool,

Knight of motley and bells

That jingle for you, no errancy,

And herald a maddened gladdening heart.

I am more me because I don’t have you.

Poems X

I think I've figured out my type; it's AAWG: All-American White Girl. The kind that would make me a pie. That's, I guess, first on my list of criteria for a life mate. Pie-making. Question 1: Would you make me a pie? Question 2: Will that pie be delicious? Question 3: Would you get jealous if I eat someone else's pie, like at Thanksgiving? If the answers are Yay, Yay, Nay, you've passed. This next poem has absolutely nothing to do with any of that.

"Cualacino"

I'm not drinking anymore,
he says,
Until I am.
I'm not eating carbs anymore,
he says,
Unless I want a donut.
I'm going to be a better person-
But not quite yet.
I'm going to clean the whole house-
Tomorrow.

Everything starts tomorrow,
It's the first day of the rest of your life.
But if that fails,
There's still the day after that.

A man sits in a chair
A woman lies in bed.
The room's a mess
And so are their heads.
The wind blows outside,
And the garage door creaks,
The front door slams,
They left it ajar,
A glass on the table,
Two on the stairs,
And all the while, it piles up,
Piles up, piles up-
Until it's too much to handle
Nowhere to begin
The wind chimes, again
Like an alarm
Blaring, the people like sheep,
Bleating, hating themselves
But they can't stop! Or rather, start.
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of everyone's lives,
Not just yours,
You're being selfish,
self-indulgent, because
Being selfless is scary.

It doesn't matter,
Fear never goes away,
It just changes-

So why can't you?

Why not me?
Why not you?
Why not?
Why?

Poems VII: Love Poems

Here are some love poems, and they're not all about the same person. They're all to remain a mystery, as they strike burnishing with the unrequited, unrelenting flame, lain cold.

"To Love a Love"

O! To be smitten,
That's the word;
An ode to being smitten-
Takes flight on a bird.
A lark as 'twere,
But always there,
I'm constantly flying,
Butterflies for a mare.
Bewitched in any hour,
By the heart's sweet power-
Has there ever been a time it's just been me
With no marathon running of fantasies?
I'll guess on answer,
Sweet Jeopardy-style,
And say no, not a chance, from checking
Mental files.
I love love
And always will
Being heady and drunk,
Drinking in my fill.


"M'lady"

A poem of love (a terrible one)
Yes, that's the way to do it-
One written by me
That you'll never see
Though your laughter did accrue it.
I might as well let my emotions forth,
(In paper form, at least)
Because it's wrong, I will not act-
I am no lustful beast.
"The pert and nimble spirits of youth,"
Your strawberry flowing tresses,
And of course the way you make me feel,
When my jokes are all successes.

Smartness goes a long way,
Dorkiness even farther,
I hope the best for the rest of your life,
May your blushing radiance grow ever larger.


"Fireworks of the Doubly Drunken Heart"

Hey!!! So...
I'm sorry,
But it turns out I love you.

And I ain't a fan

Of emotions,
Or notions,
But there are enough fireworks
In the world.
Not between us or nothin',
Cuz we friends,
And friends is dope,

-Haha-

There it is.
Damn straight,

Motherfucker.

Puttin'
Motherfucker on its own line?
Crazy as shit.
But:

Motherfuckin' worth
It.
Byaa.

Not this one. This one is more recent and that was her real name, a girl who lives in Vietnam. On two different paths, yet the fates let me have one blissful night of conversation. I do not live in Vietnam.

"Love In Sadness"

Danielle.
Forever,
And just for a nigh.
Love is a fickle thing
And it can happen in an instant
And last til the end of time.
When there's truth to it
When the connection is reality
It doesn't even matter what you say.
Because the content is deeper,
Its an elder compulsion,
An attraction of minds,
A gravitational pull,
Two bodies, one absolute,
Danielle.
You'll be gone,
Already fading,
Never again to meet.
But our hearts met,
That's all that matters.
One day, if the gods be good,
We'll be together knit in the universal consciousness,
That beating heart of humanity's entropy,
The math that holds the universe tight.
Tendrils of happiness
Of the true twinkling beauty
Starstruck and striking out gem-like stars.
A knowing.
An actual knowing.
No grok but yes.
A sure thing for a surety of passion.
Your hair that falls over earrings sweet,
Sweetness falling over thin smiles.
A leg up, on my shoulder,
A leg up, on the competition for my desire:
Full desire.
No singularity but wholeness
Of every fiber, every ounce.
A lingering hope
But I care not.
I accept you now as a part of me,
Though apart from me.
I wither and thrive in flux.